windsnocturne: (Lissa/Maribelle)
[personal profile] windsnocturne
Title: yesterday is dead and over
Author: Sara Jaye
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Spoilers for the Bad Future
Word count: 685
Summary: It's all on her shoulders now, and she's almost positive she can't do it.
A/N: Listen to this while you're reading for extra sads.

Fire Emblem: Awakening, Maribelle/Lissa: hand-holding - "Don't let go."

She can't do this. The public awaits her, but Emm is gone, Chrom and Olivia are gone and Lucina's still a child. Ylisse's weight rests on her shoulders and it hurts.

"Olivia shouldn't have died," she whispers, squeezing her eyes shut. Olivia's supposed to be in charge now, she should be here; Chrom's barely been dead a year and Inigo's barely six months old and Olivia's dead, cut down by Risen to protect her. "I can't do it. I don't even have the Brand, Maribelle, I can't-"

"Darling." Maribelle's grip on her hands is painfully tight, and Lissa is struggling not to cry. She feels like all she's done since Chrom's death is cry and she's sick of it, even with Olivia still alive she owes it to his memory, to Lucina, to Maribelle, to all of Ylisse to be stronger.

"Even if they would accept a little girl without a Brand, I don't want this." She swallows, willing her voice not to tremble. "I wish...I wish I could have stopped Emmeryn's murder, saved Chrom at the Table, that Olivia didn't have to die for me. I wish I knew if half our friends were still alive...I wish..."

"To turn back time." Maribelle's grip tightens and Lissa's almost sure she sees her eye twitch. Lissa nods, closing her eyes again.

"Every day the past seems to fade more and more...the early days of the Shepherds, Chrom and Olivia's wedding, our wedding, the day Lucina was born. I want those days back."

"As do I. But it's impossible to turn back time, darling." She knows, she wishes she didn't, wishes she could be more naive and assume the best, but reality's shadow is suffocating and everything in the castle is a reminder of Chrom and Olivia and Emmeryn and how they'll never come back.

They're gone, and it's just me.

"I can't do this. Please, just...go out there, tell them I'm too sick. I'm not strong like Chrom or wise like Emmeryn, I never wanted this, they'll just want me to make everything better and even Emm couldn't do that. They threw rocks at her, they'll be even worse to me, I-"

"I won't let them." Maribelle's voice hardens. "If one of those people so much as looks at you cross-eyed I will make them regret it." And Lissa knows she will, this wouldn't be the first time Maribelle's snapped at anyone on her behalf. Enemies who tried to hurt her in battle, people who frowned upon their marriage, even at Vaike for belching in front of her and Robin for laughing at it.

Vaike...Robin. She doesn't know where they've gone, only that she's not sure what to think of Robin anymore, after what reportedly happened at the Table. She fled in shame, Vaike left with her, others fled in fear. Of the Shepherds, only a handful remain. Cordelia, Kellam, Sumia, Frederick...

But even if the others come back, Chrom and Olivia are still gone.

"It's never going to be the same again."

"But it's going to be all right." Maribelle lets go of her hands, fixes her hair and her clothing. "I'm here with you. I have been from the beginning, and I will until we are old and gray." And Lissa smiles a little at Maribelle's optimism, we don't know if we'll make it to that point, but...

"I...I don't know if I can go out there and talk to them. They're angry, they're terrified, they-"

"Won't dare speak a word against you if I'm there," Maribelle cuts her off, taking her hand. "It's time to greet our public. Never forget that you're not alone in this. As your consort, Ylisse will be my responsibility as much as it is yours."

For better or for worse, in times of doubt and in times of certainty. The vows they recited what seems like a lifetime ago ring strong and clear in Maribelle's touch, and Lissa laces their fingers together, swallowing.

"Don't let go."

"Not even at swordpoint, darling."

Several deep breaths and slow steps later, they approach the crowd. Voices and faces surround them, and Lissa focuses on the warmth of her wife's hand.

It's going to be all right...please, let it be all right.
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